Communication is a vital tool to have in your aresenal, useful for all areas of life. At home great communication helps to create strong bonds with family members, diffuse potential arguments and develop your relationships. With friends it's much the same and at work or business (where a lot of communication content is aimed) it can have huge benefits throughout your career. You will undoubtedly have seen people at work stand out simply by having great communication skills. Being able to express your message or your mission clearly, succinctly and powerfully can be the difference between success and failure. We are after all, narrative driven creatures.
Tell them what you're going to say
Tell them
Tell them what you said
Speakeasy - how to speak to an audience
To help people get started with their communication I've created a pdf which gives an overview of some workshops I've run for the Ministry of Defence, it goes through some high level theory and practical exercises you can do to get your team to start thinking about and working on their communication. It builds on what I learnt during my Acting Masters and subsequent acting career (but don't let that put you off).
This starter workshop covers:
- Pace, pitch and the power of the pause
- Active Listening
- Authenticity in your communication
Alex’s vocal speakeasy workshop was a great way for the team to practice mindful speech, as well as mindful listening! Helping us to really think about not only the words that we use but also how we deliver them, and how to better listen and feel more attuned to both our own, and our audiences emotions. These skills will be truly helpful to all those on the programme. MoD Programme Delivery Manager
If you'd like more information please feel free to reach out to me at inquisitivepigltd@gmail.com. Have a listen to my conversation with Master Talks for more great insights.
For now I'm going to focus on a particular area I think is often overlooked. Listening.
Listening - the key to improving your communication
Perhaps the most important tool when it comes to your communication is being able to listen properly. That might seem counterintuitive when you're trying to work on your speaking but listening is absolutely key. In order to speak effectively, you have to learn to listen properly. First to yourself and then to others.
What is listening
So what do I mean by listening. In the context of great communication listening is about:
- Paying attention to how you are communicating: can you hear how you are coming across? Do you sound enthusiastic or under energy? Are you speaking too quickly or too slowly? Is your voice monotone or varied?
- Listening to the reaction of your audience: are you taking the time to listen to your audience and their reaction? Can you pick up on the detail of how your audience feels? Are you able to notice how they are responding to your communication and then change/ adapt what you're doing accordingly?
Here's a practical example. You have to give a presentation at work, you've practised a few times and you know what you're going to say. Naturally you're a little nervous, the adrenaline is flowing and so this means you speak a bit too quickly and don't pause to allow your points to be properly received. Now if you're not listening fully, this is how you'll continue throughout the presentation. But if you've practised listening, you're able to hear and identify that you're going too quickly, you're listening to your audience so you see that they are struggling to understand and because you've listened, you're able to adapt and adjust in the moment, slow down, take your time and allow your points to be heard properly. All because you started to listen.
Now see how different that is from most people's automatic pilot when it comes to communication. We don't take the time to listen to ourselves and others to truly understand how we're coming across and whether we're having the desired impact.
Why you should listen
Listening to yourself and your audience effectively will dramatically increase the impact you have because you are able to adjust your communication based on immediate feedback you're picking up from your audience. Truly listening will also help you to:
- Learn from others and fully understand them. So often we don't listen or don't want to listen to what others are saying. We hear the first few words and then think we know what they are trying to say without listening to the detail. You will have done this and will have had it done to you so you'll know how incredibly frustrating it is. Top tip is to double check you've understood exactly what someone is trying to say by just...asking them! Make sure you've absorbed the intent of their message. We want to be understood and we want to understand others, especially loved ones. Watch what happens to your relationships at home and at work when you start to completely listen.
- Communicate better. Only by listening to others can you know if people are listening to you. You can go off on a rant all you like (God knows I used to, and still do) but you will have no impact if no-one is listening. How do you know they're listening? You have to listen. Top tip is to time check yourself when answering questions (especially useful during interviews). Answer the question succinctly first and then expand. Check with your audience if you've answered it to their satisfaction.
How to listen - Exercises
There are more details in the workshop pdf but here are 3 exercises to get you started:
Listening to yourself
- Here's an exercise you can do yourself to practise listening. It's quite simple really, sit on your own in a quiet room, close your eyes and just...listen. What can you hear? Don't try too hard, let sounds arrive in your ears rather than trying to hear things but when they do arrive just notice what they are. Do this for 5-10 minutes and I promise you'll hear an extra level of detail to the noises around you.
- Next time you have to give a presentation or speak in front of an audience (no matter how small) see if you can notice the vocal patterns you default into using (see PDF for explanations). E.g. how quickly are you speaking? How energetic do you sound? How long are you speaking for?
Listening to others
3. Next step from 2) above is to notice other people when you are speaking. Can you pick up on how engaged they are with you. To do this you'll need to look at them and listen fully. Are people giving you their attention?
So there we have it, a quick look at how listening can dramatically improve your communication skills. Give it a go next time you have to speak in front of an audience and see if you can spot the difference. You'll see how it can impact your work, your relationships and how you listen to yourself.
Links
- Interesting video on how great communicators and engaging people are often great listeners
- Speakeasy workshop pdf
- MasterTalk conversation
