‘Sandra?’
Sandra checked her watch, closed her book and looked up. The man in front of her was tall with brown foppish hair and tortoiseshell glasses that pulled out the green in his eyes. She leaned back against the bench to take him, looking down from the glasses to the dark brown oxfords which had an edge of dirt from the park path. He took a step back and opened his arms wide, a confident grin emanating towards her.
‘Ben! You’re late, you naughty thing.’ Sandra jumped up off the bench, stood close and prodded his chest. ‘You’re always late aren’t you?’
For a second a worried look flashed across his face and then he grinned and pulled her against him. He planted a long, hard kiss on her lips. It felt close and necessary. Sandra moved herself further into him and slowly started to put her hands through his hair. It was thick and soft. She could feel his tongue against hers and was beginning to respond when he pulled away.
‘I missed you. Italy is not the same without you. Next time I will insist that my wife comes with me.’ He said as he took a step away from her, still holding her hands. She watched his eyes rove over her body, noticed the slight change in those green eyes as his gaze moved over her cleavage as if subconsciously approving her dress choice.
‘Well you always say that wives aren’t allowed on business trips.’
They looked at each other for a second, their eyes meeting knowingly. The clouds had started to clear and the park around them lay ready. Hands still together they began to walk, slowly, without any purpose other than each other.
‘Good week?’
‘Normal I suppose,’ she said lightly. Ben gave her hand a little squeeze and looked away distracted.
Sandra hugged herself into him as they walked. Sometimes he got this way, she knew that. They would go on long, slow walks around parks all over the country sometimes not saying a word to each other for hours and that was fine. It was more than fine. Just having him there, feeling his warmth, his strength against her was exactly what she needed. They came across a lake sunken into the middle of the park. Ducks preened themselves all along the edge, beaks clipping against feathers.
‘Oh look!’ Sandra gasped as a tiny line of ducklings, following their mother dutifully, sped their way across the lip of the lake. Some other couples had come to the lake and were pointing too. Sandra could hear them giggling and realised that she was too. She looked up at Ben. He was watching the couple nearest to them. An elderly man and woman who were sitting on a bench, gazing out at the lake. The woman had a small bag of breadcrumbs which she was carefully sprinkling in front of her. The ducklings swarmed around her feet, gently picking up the crumbs. The elderly man moved his head towards the woman and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. She turned to face him and they both smiled warmly at each other.
‘I’m sorry, I-’ Ben began to speak, eyes fixed on the couple, the confidence in his voice faltering.
‘What’s wrong darling?’
He let go of her hand and took a small step back, running his hand through his hair and looking around at the other couples near the lake.
‘I just, look I don’t think I can do this.’
‘What’s the problem my love?’ Sandra emphasised the last two words and moved towards him putting both hands flat on his chest. ‘You’re ok. Let’s just keep walking, yeah?’
He gently removed her hands from his chest and took another step back, eyes searching hers.
Sandra put her hands on her hips. ‘Ok, what’s going on?’
‘I haven’t done this before and I thought I could but-’
‘This is your first time?’ Sandra felt her face flush with annoyance. ‘Fuck sake, you know you’re supposed to, you have to put that down-’
‘I know, I know but I thought that would ruin it you know?’
‘Oh what and this hasn’t?’ She folded her arms and peered out over the lake, she could see some of the other couples looking over at the change in temperature between them. Sandra scowled.
‘I’m really sorry Sandra. Maybe we could just, can we just get to know each other?’
She snorted loudly through her nose, her foot tapping on the gravel path as she tried to think of what to do now her lunch break was ruined.
‘You know you’ll get banned for this,’ she snapped at him.
‘What?’
‘Yeah didn’t you read the T’s & C’s? You’re not allowed to break out of it whilst we’re in the park. You have to make up an excuse for us to leave and then you can stop, otherwise the others,’ she indicated the nearby couples around the lake, ‘might get distracted, could break the spell for them.’
Sandra watched as he glanced at the pairs of people now purposefully leaving the lake area. What a waste of time. She snatched her phone from her pocket thinking that at least she could try to find someone for this evening.
‘Hey, wait,’ Ben looked pleadingly at her. ‘Look I’m really sorry. Can we start over please?’ He paused, adjusted his glasses and then put out his hand to her. ‘Hi, I’m Ben. Really nice to meet you Sandra.’
Sandra felt her mood soften, he looked so uncomfortable now standing there with his hand out, still hot though.
‘Hi Ben, I’m Sandra. You’re a nice guy Ben, good kisser too by the way, but let’s call it. If I wanted to meet someone new I’d go on the usual. That’s not what the app is for. You’re supposed to stick to the illusion, can’t break it for even a second otherwise it doesn’t work.’
One of the little ducklings had wandered over to them and was now walking into Sandra’s foot repeatedly. She picked it up and held it upside down, its pale yellow legs still walking rhythmically in the air.
‘Do you reckon I can keep it?’ She said, looking conspiratorially at Ben. ‘Or will they charge me?’ She held it up to her ear and could hear the mechanical whirring of its inner workings. ‘God they’re good these days. I don’t think they’d mind really because a) this one seems a bit fucked and b) they’ve wasted my afternoon not vetting a newbie properly,’ she looked pointedly at Ben ‘that’s you Ben. So really they owe me some of my membership fee back.’ She paused for a second and then sighed. Leaning back she hurled the duckling, legs still paddling at nothing, into the middle of the lake. It landed upside down, bobbed for a second before quickly sinking below the surface.
They both watched the spot where the duck had disappeared until Sandra turned abruptly to Ben and said ‘stick to it next time ok? You’ll get complaints otherwise. Not fair for you to ruin people’s precious time like that.’
Ben’s voice was much more subdued now, ‘I know. I’m sorry I just don’t get how you do it. I thought I could but, well not without putting the time in.’ He looked at her apologetically.
‘And who exactly has that sort of time, Ben?’ Sandra turned and strode away to the park exit, cursing under her breath, picturing the weathered work cubicle she now had to return to after a wasted break.
Ben stood completely still and watched Sandra march off to the exit where couples were saying their goodbyes before heading in different directions. He watched a park attendant painting a rose bush from grey to bright coral pink, the leaves standing too perfectly against the wind.
